Cigarette Smoke
by Tsuki Ryokochan
Summary: Oneshot. A trip to Zenny's reminds Shuichi of all the things he lost when he lost Yuki. or does it?implies just a touch of yaoi, nothing vulgar at all, but some may not appreciate it


CIGARETTE SMOKE

Just a one-shot for Gravitation. Hope you like!

-Disclaimer- sadly enough on my behalf, I do not own anything dealing with or related to the amazing manga and anime Gravitation. Except for this one shot. And anything else I choose to write about. Isn't it simply amazing that the more disclaimer's I slap on my work, the more I get to own? Tee hehehe!

"Welcome to Zenny's! Smoking or non-smoking?" the waitress falsely chimed.

"Non-smoking please…" Shuichi said quietly as he brushed the hair from his face.

The smoking section….was always filled with smoke…

The waitress led him to the table and half-threw, half-handed a menu at him.

"Do you want the late night special?"

"What goes with it?"

"Hell if I know, I'm just supposed to ask, hun."

"No, never mind then…"

"Call me when you're ready to order, okay hun?"

"Yea. I will." Shuichi tried to fake his best genuine smile, but it just turned into an ugly grimace.

'I'm so hungry but….' But what?

'But I don't think I can eat here…' Why not?

'The smoke it's everywhere…' Smoke never bothered you before. Why now?

'Because…the smoke…' Ah, because Yuki used to smoke.

'Yuki…' Yes, Yuki Eiri would puff away haphazardly at his cigarettes.

'Yea, he smoked…' Isn't this scent, this pungent, acrid scent, what you remember him by?

'It does… this smell… remind me of him…' And so you pick the non-smoking section just so you aren't reminded of him?

'Well, I…' You what? Do you deny that you have been avoiding everything that remind you of him? Colognes, beer brands, shoes, clothes, pants, paint colors?

'I do, I even…' You even avoid cigarettes, don't you?

'It's not just that, they're bad for you, too…' That never bothered you when he was around, did it? In fact, you would let yourself go into dream land whenever the scent of the smoke would tickle your nostrils, am I wrong, Shuichi?

'…You're… you're right… I…' You're lying to yourself, you make it seem like the things killed him, not just the cigarettes either, Shindou! You avoid every reminder of him like the plague, don't you?

'I- I just-' You just what? What excuse could you possibly have for avoiding every reminder of your dear lost love? Your life has been thrown into shreds, cast away into a paranoid breech of hell all because you fell in too deep, too deeply in love. It's your own fault Shindou! It's your own fault that your life has become one huge clutter of anguish!

'It's not true! It's not true at all! I loved Yuki so much… I may be just making excuses, but… but that doesn't mean I'm wrong! I'm doing it to preserve myself, what little bit of myself I have left!' Because he left, right? You fell apart because he left you?

'Yes… Yes! When it was me and Yuki, we weren't two separate people! We became one! The Shuichi I was before I met him died a long time ago, and the Shuichi I became with him died with him!' So now you try to ignore the hole in your heart?

"Why not! What's so wrong with trying to keep myself together!' Even when there's no doubt in the world that you're falling apart?

'…Yes…" Well, then, Shuichi….

Shuichi…

Shuichi…

"Shuichi, wake up." Yuki nudged Shuichi in the shoulder.

Shuichi bolted upright and stared around incredulously.

"I thought you cried enough in the daytime, but now you're crying in your sleep. Honestly, kid, if you're going to do that, go cry on someone else's pillow." Yuki flipped his pillow over and rolled back onto his stomach muttering curses and rearranging the blankets around him.

"Crying in my…" Shuichi murmured to himself as he scanned himself. He was in his birthday suit, as was Yuki, and the pillow and part of the blanket was soaked.

He wiped under his eyes. His cheek weren't damp, they were dripping with tears.

"Why was I crying… Oh!" The dream flooded back into his memory. A new, thin, hot stream of tears traced his jaw.

"Yuki…"

"What is it now?" Yuki waved his hand tiredly against the pillow and buried his head deeper.

Shuichi climbed back under the covers and snuggled against him, trying to keep his sniffles quiet.

"Don't ever leave me, Yuki… I don't know what I'd do if that happened…"

Yuki propped himself up against the bed and lazily rolled his head towards Shuichi. He glared at him groggily through his one open eye.

"What are you talking about?"

"Just… Just don't ever leave me, okay?" Shuichi, now tired, cranky, and on the verge of a slight tantrum, grabbed Yuki's hand.

"…You're a really weird kid, you know that?" Yuki wrapped his arm around Shuichi and pulled him closer.

"Oh Yuki!" Shuichi nuzzled his hair against Yuki's neck and gladly cuddled up against him.

"Cry on me one more time, and you're getting the boot again, got it?" Yuki's grumbles were muffled by the slightly dampened pillow. He turned and faced Shuichi, his words ringing clearer. "I said, 'Got it?'"

"Yea, I got it." Shuichi's eyes brightened and began to shine with his signature dewy-eyed enthusiasm.

"Oh Yuki, you're alive!" He clung onto Yuki and began to dress his cheeks with sloppy, tear drenched, toddler kisses.

"Damn it, kid!"

Well, it was just a one shot, and I don't personally think it's very good (I'm getting rusty, in my opinion) so I ask that all, if any, reviews please include a critique so that I can write to better please you all!

BTW- I reread my reviews (from my other stories) and I got so happy that I practically peed myself, then I danced and sang to my own rendition of Kodocha's opening theme song. Many of you do not realize this to the full extent, but your words of praise really are the fuel to my airplane. You keep me going as strongly as I can with my writing, so I thank you all so, so, soooooooooo much for being so kind!


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